My Life is Super Glamorous…

This post is 4+ years old, and it’s under a readmore for a reason. I apologize for anything that makes you cringe. I’m cringing  thinking about what’s below, and now I’m cringing even more thinking of your (completely deserved) reaction. -8/11/17

I’m honestly surprised no one sent out a search party, considering the fact I haven’t interacted with anyone in almost five months.  A lot of things have been going on, like:

  • I got contacts. So much better than glasses. The cat cat can smash her tiny little nose against my face until she drops dead, and I can still see clearly.
  • I got a new cat a few months ago, which made me very happy. ❤️ I found her on my porch, and almost cried. Mainly because I’m a pretty emotional person, but also because I found her under the same circumstances I found Cookeh six years ago.


I didn’t even empty the bag, I turned around and there she was. Also, our ugly patterned couch. Bask in its hideousness.

(In case you’re wondering why her eyes look a little funky, this is caused by her partial blindness. She gets around pretty well using her other senses, and seems to enjoy finding boxes and shopping bags.)

  • I had my 16th birthday a few weeks ago. Do I have my driver’s license? No, because I can’t seem to pass my freaking driver’s test. My instructor must have a different definition for the meaning of ‘dangerous action’, considering the fact this is the only thing keeping me from passing. I’m really not that bad of a driver. I mean, she gave people who really shouldn’t be on the road a passing grade, so where’s mine? (Actually, they’ll probably end up living in their cars, so this decision was most likely made out of sympathy.)
  • I got my ears pierced again. I have three lobe piercings now. Apparently having a blunt object stabbed through my vulnerable flesh twice isn’t good enough.

Play auditions are in two weeks. Here at my crappy little high school, we alternate between plays and musicals every other year. I still haven’t picked a part or song to audition with. Problem is, I can’t sing in front of people without freaking out, and end up having to practice the same type of relaxed breathing I use in yoga to convince my brain that, no, I’m not going to die. It works, I guess.

I really want to get over this fear, though. Believe it or not, laying face down in my snowflake panties, reading trashy Portal fanfictions, though it sounds very productive and glamorous, is not how I want to spend my time. This most likely isn’t going to happen if a potato can interact with people better than I can. My life is a one-way ticket to that cat lady who will never leave her house. You can order everything online these days, anyway.

I’m making my older sister play Portal 2. She has no idea what she’s doing, but seems to like a few of the characters.

…At some point she yelled “Give me back my potato!”, and proceeded to talk about how she had “bonded with her over the moron while we were falling”.

I’m also pretty excited about Christmas, my sister bought me a Dan and Phil advent calendar. I should get “a chocolate and a funny picture” every day until the 25th. Of course I haven’t opened it, since it’s not the first of December. We put up the tree at my grandma’s house yesterday. I’m finally tall enough to put the angel at the top, by the way. Heck yes.

We don’t have a very big tree, since Cookeh took the liberty of climbing it her very first Christmas, and we’re sure my new cat will do the same. I did end up making her a stocking, since I didn’t want to use Cookeh’s old one. Or look at it, knowing it’ll never be filled again. Wow, that got depressing quickly.  I’m one of the strange few that gets her cats presents. It’s usually fun toys like little plastic mice and a sack of treats, or a little collar with a bell on it because those are exciting.

Since I have an essay I haven’t gotten very far on, I should probably leave for another five months now.