In this post, I talk about how excited I was about graduating Jr. High. 4 years later, I’m talking about how relieved I am that a little over 24 hours ago, I graduated High School.


Walking across the (rickety, mildly horrifying) stage extension in low, chunky heels because God forbid I catch a stiletto in the gap between the stage and its extension. I have great legs I’d love to keep them. and getting my diploma was the happiest I’ve been in years. I wish that was a dramatic exaggeration.

The “best” 4 years of my life came with a lot of struggles. I lost a lot of friends, and sadly, I had a majority of them for years, some since grade school. (Yes, the “friend” I was speaking to at the end of this post is on that list, too. I discovered that she is incredibly petty and doesn’t want to grow up.) I said very few words to them at graduation, and I doubt I’ll say very many more in the future. I wasn’t in a good place mentally, either. I spent too many nights at my absolute worst, ugly crying on the bathroom floor at ungodly hours of the night and thinking of doing things to myself that I hope never come up as an option again. (That unintentionally sounds like the “edgy” teenage type…)

I made some really good memories. Going to dances, staying out late, sitting in a hot tub at 2:30 AM, trying not to ruin the hair and makeup your mom paid the salon to do. I did the play/musical every year, and I stayed in Band. I was also an honors graduate, keeping a 3.5 GPA every semester. I wore my medal for hours after the ceremony. I’m grateful for the memories, but I know I won’t miss anything about them.

High School was not a good time in my life, but I’m accepting of  the way it changed me. I don’t think High School should be the “best four years of your life”. It’s also nothing like the movies or TV shows try portraying it. I think it’s a time when you’re supposed to figure things out. I walked into High School a terrified 14 year old girl , and I walked out as a completely different 18 year old. (I’m glad I got to be that 14 year old for a while, though. You have to start somewhere) Am I a bit scared of the future? Absolutely, but I know that I can handle whatever tries to bring me down.

My Hips Are the Only Things That Haven’t Lied.

I haven’t been completely honest with you. Yes, the stories described to you in (sometimes horrible) detail are true, sometimes exaggerated, but true nonetheless.

My parents didn’t know I had this blog for a while, so I didn’t use my real name. It was for protection at first, to make sure no one on the internet could find me in real life and vice versa, but being the idiot I am, the idiot you now don’t know the name of,  I kept up with the charade. For way too long. I turned 18 on the 9th.

This is not okay. I feel horrible for lying. I haven’t been able to share pictures or my Instagram or Steam accounts with you. I should’ve freaking grown up like the rest of you, and I should’ve stopped being nothing but the screen name years ago.  You have been nothing but kind to me over the years, and I should’ve come clean long before this.

In case you weren’t aware, my name isn’t Kat. It’s not even remotely close. Everything else you’ve been reading is true. Every detail on this blog but this one thing. I thought I was protecting myself by lying, but I ended up leaving a huge piece of myself out of the story I’ve been telling you.

I’m all about being real with people. I tell things like they are, and this contradicts everything that I stand for. I’ll reintroduce myself in a later post, change my screen name, and show you some pictures. I understand if this makes you want to push me away, to never see me again. In the meantime, let me express my deepest apologies for not being 100% honest. I hope to God you accept them.

Thinking Back Part II

Before I entered 8th grade, I made a post called “Thinking Back“, where I reminisced on my schooling experience up to 7th grade. Going into my Senior year of High School, I thought I’d continue where I left off.

A lot of people have been in my classes since Freshman year. Some go as far back as Kindergarten, and even PreSchool. I thought we were grown up entering 8th grade, but look at us now: One more year of High School, and we’re ready to start taking on the world as adults. I’ve got so many more memories since the last post.

8th grade: What a way to leave Jr. High. My class was so close, and we did everything together. I learned how to ski as part of my class trip, and we all went to Springfield. I got to be a part in the school’s first year of Honor Band, and I got a perfect score at the state level of Solo and Ensemble. I also made 100% of my volleyball serves over the net. My favorite memory was graduation, of course. I still remember the feeling I had when I walked across the stage to get my diploma, and walked out of the building a Freshman in High School.

Freshman year: I remember feeling so sick my first day of school. I was so anxious, and looking back, it seems so ridiculous. I learned how to play guitar, and I marched in a parade for the first time. I was reluctant to go to Homecoming, but I ended up loving the experience. I also started my run in the plays as stage crew. I met many new people, and a majority of them still have classes with me. This was also the year my Honors Algebra I teacher got arrested. I won’t go into detail, but we still make jokes about it. The summer after, I lost Cookeh, and I still miss her very much.

Sophomore year: Early in the year, I was able to ditch my glasses and start wearing contacts in their place. I also started learning more about makeup, and slowly started leaving my awkward phase. (Sadly, I still haven’t left completely.) However, I had a horrible experience, and nothing seemed to go my way. The musical was torture, partially because the teacher running it was horrible to every student involved in the production, and I kept failing my driver’s license test because the teacher I had sucked. Long story short, I was thankful that it was over, and that I managed to spare my own life.

Junior year: Things started looking up from the year before. This year was full of testing, and I took 3 huge tests not including my semester exams, all in the span of a month. I never want to see a standardized test again. I had a great time in all of my AP classes, and finally started to earn dual credit. I learned how to make my own clothes, and became section leader in the band. I actually got a small speaking part in the play. I had to fight for it like usual, but I had such a good time with the cast (as always), and we got so many compliments at the end of every night. My horrible band director got fired at the end of the year, and we got a wonderful new one over the summer.

We wrote ridiculous scripts and funny presentations, and many inside jokes were formed. A lot of people think High School is full of cliques that never interact with each other. Even though this is partially true, everyone comes together and helps out when it’s needed. I dropped my stupid “Not like other girls” attitude I had when I started this blog, and I started being around different types of people. No “clique” I’ve been around has failed to show me a good time. Not in that sense…

I’m excited for my Senior year. While High School hasn’t treated me too well, I have a feeling this will be my year. I only have a vague idea of what is going to happen, but when graduation comes around, I know I’ll walk across the stage proud of my achievements. I just hope I don’t trip on the way up.

The Year in Review

Taken from my DeviantART, where I did this last year.

Since the Start of 2015, I Have:
Gotten a new piercing. (I have to wait until I’m 18 for the next one. 😦 )
Dyed my hair.
Ended a relationship.
Started a new relationship. (I made a few new friends. Does that count?)
Been on a long car journey.
Passed an exam.
Cried on someone’s shoulder.
Had a massive fight with a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Received flowers.
Had a Valentine.
Written a letter using pen and paper.
Gone to see a therapist.
Been prescribed medication by a doctor.
Read a really good book. 
Gone to the zoo.
Spent too much money on unnecessary things.
Traveled by train.
Cried over someone. 
Spent a day out in the sun getting a tan. (It was a burn for a while…)
Slammed a door out of frustration
Had an anxiety/panic attack. (Not happening next year, though.)
Had a BBQ.
Gone to the fair.
Gone bowling.
Seen a film at the cinema in 3D.
Gone on a date.
Helped someone home after they’d had too much to drink.
Stayed up all night.
Talked on the phone for over 2 hours.
Supported someone who’d received bad news. 
Watched some kind of live sporting event.
Read an entire book in one day.
Bought a DVD the day it was released.
Eaten McDonald’s more than four times in a single week.
Cried as a result of exam stress.
Met some incredible new people. 
Fallen backwards off a chair.
Broken my glasses.
Cried over someone in my past.
Spent hours aimlessly browsing the internet.
Cried over a film.
Gone out of my way to avoid an ex-significant other.
Been in a relationship for a year or longer.
Been ice skating.
Seen a musical or play. (I saw Wicked last month. I’m a changed woman.)
Traveled out of my state or country.
Swam (in a pool).
Swam (in the ocean). (I swam in the quarry…)
Been in a hospital.
Fallen down the stairs.
Discovered something new about myself.

Can You Believe It?

Where Thunder Roars

Four years ago, I made a post that basically said “I can’t believe I’m 13!”. Honestly, this makes me laugh.

Being 13 seemed so grown up to me, like, look at this:

Things I can’t believe:

-That I’m a teenager.

-That I can finally see PG-13 movies without my parents.

-That I can finally do all these amazing things like sign up for Facebook and YouTube now.

And then I turned 17 and can do all of these things my 13 year old self could only daydream about doing. So here, younger self, is a list of things you probably don’t believe either:

  • You’ll be a legal adult next year.
  • You can buy M rated video games by yourself.
  • You can finally rent/watch/buy R rated movies without your parents.
  • You can also drop out of school, but you have freaking goals so you’re staying.
  • You are the Dancing Queen. (If this…

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New York Fashion Week

Thursday marked the beginning of Fashion Week. In New York, of course. (You’d be surprised at the number of Fashion weeks the world has. Every week is Fashion Week somewhere.) As a person who is currently considering a career in the Fashion industry: This is a like a dream without the added freaky, difficult to understand scenarios brought to you by my subconscious.

…Maybe I should think of another phrase.

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Looking at Old Posts

Remember this thing? Just reading through it makes me cringe. Giving you a little background on it might help both of us understand my intentions, though.

I was in 7th grade, and didn’t fit in anywhere. I was bullied for years, and my friend (who is still my friend as we enter our Junior year in High School) was hanging out with someone who was rude to me. What I didn’t know, was that my friend has this habit of trying to fix people who don’t want to be fixed. I actually ended up being friends with her as well. We were in the same Spanish II class this year.

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